THIS WEEK
A newly appointed executive called me six months into her role.
"I knew the job would be hard," she said. "I didn't know it would be this lonely."
She'd been promoted internally after years in the organization.
Well-respected, strong relationships.
The work itself wasn't the problem.
The loneliness was.
THE REALITY CHECK
Loneliness in senior roles is rarely personal.
It's structural.
When you move into a new leadership position, your relationship ecosystem changes overnight:
You can't process downward without affecting morale
You can't process upward without casting doubts
And if you were promoted internally, your former peers are no longer neutral ground. Some might have even competed for your role.
The higher the role, the fewer places you can safely put down what you're carrying.
That's not dysfunction. That's altitude.
This matters because you're suddenly cut off from the mentorship and peer networks you relied on.
The part most people avoid
Trying to handle it alone isn't strength.
It's a misunderstanding of what the role actually requires.
Senior leadership is not designed to be emotionally self-sufficient.
It is designed to be externally supported.
The mistake many executives make in their first year is looking for the wrong kind of support in the wrong places.
They try to recreate the peer processing and informal thinking-out-loud they used to have. That doesn't exist at this level anymore - at least not inside the hierarchy or org chart.
What actually helps
The leaders who navigate this well do something quietly but intentionally:
They build a small circle outside the organization.
Not because internal support doesn't matter - it does. The boss provides strategic alignment. Your direct reports help you execute. HR helps you navigate the culture.
But none of them can be your thinking partner in the way you need.
That small external circle often includes:
A peer in a different company or industry
A coach who understands executive dynamics
A mentor who has lived through similar transitions
One or two people who know the human cost of leadership and can hold it without judgement
This isn’t about venting.
It’s about having a place where complexity doesn’t need to be edited.
Why this matters now
If 2025 felt heavier than expected, you’re not behind.
You’ve likely moved into a different altitude - where the air is thinner, the margin for error feels smaller, and support must be more intentional.
As the year winds down, this isn’t a problem to solve.
It’s a reality to acknowledge.
And in 2026, it’s an opportunity to build the kind of support that makes leadership sustainable.
