A director told me about a pattern she had been noticing for a few months.

Her boss, who built the team before her arrival, worked with her direct reports for years. He knew them. They trusted him. 

But he hadn't stepped back from those relationships.

He was dropping into their inboxes. Asking questions directly. Giving them direction.

She’d find out in a 1:1. Or notice in a meeting that a decision had already been made - and she was the only one catching up.

She told me it felt like being the last person in the room to understand what was actually going on.

When a boss goes directly to your direct reports - for information, for updates, for informal reads on what's happening, it looks like accessibility. A senior leader staying close to the work. 

But underneath, it does three things:

1. It cuts you out of the conversation:
Your team learns there's a back door to the top. Intentionally or not, some will use it. Your boss starts forming views about your team and your decisions based on conversations you weren’t part of.

2. It reduces your authority:
When your team knows the boss is directly accessible, you stop being the definitive leader and become one of the options. In your first year in a new role, when your authority is still being established, that's a problem you can't afford.

3. It creates execution confusion:
When direction comes from two levels, your team faces a daily dilemma: whose priorities should we follow? 

Most senior leaders do at least one of 3 things:

1. They absorb it: Let the boss take the wheel, and quietly become an administrator. But the team notices. And they stop bringing things to you. 

2. They vent sideways: Complain to peers, process the frustration informally, never address it directly. This builds resentment.

3. They leave: For high performers, being routinely bypassed is eventually a dealbreaker.

None of these address what's actually happening. 

This has to be addressed directly. But how you frame it determines everything.

1. Address the information gap

Bosses bypass you when they feel they don’t have the full picture. Give them the information they need, in the format and frequency they want - before they have to ask.

2. Have the expectations conversation early

Ask your boss directly: which decisions do you want to make? Which ones need your input? Which ones are mine? That conversation isn't defensive - it’s to set up a working relationship.

3. Frame it as role clarity, not a complaint

If the pattern is already established, depersonalise it:

"I want to make sure the team isn't getting direction from two places at once. Can we agree on how we divide that?" 

4. Bring the team's confusion, not your feelings

If you need to push back, lead with impact on execution. 

"My team is getting mixed signals and it's slowing things down." 

That's data. It shifts the conversation from your authority to the team's effectiveness - which is harder to argue with.

5. Close the gap with your own team

Don't hope they figure it out. Tell them directly: when the boss reaches out with a request, you expect to be looped in immediately so you can manage their capacity, priorities, and resources.

The longer this pattern runs, the harder it is to reverse. The team adjusts to the new normal. So does your boss.

Address it early - before it becomes the way things work around here.